


Will you love me? (And my secondhand heart?)

by Fairlyblvrry



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: IM NOT GOOD AT TAGS PLS JUST READ ILY, M/M, Read at your own discretion, Self Harm, Trigger warnings:, Tyler is partially mute, but Josh loves him very very much, but there will be some sadness and angst, he doesn't talk much at all, his mother is ill and his father is abusive, idk - Freeform, slight abuse, slight depression, this should be cute and stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-27
Updated: 2015-07-27
Packaged: 2018-04-11 13:10:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4436705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fairlyblvrry/pseuds/Fairlyblvrry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn't that Tyler was unhappy, because really, deep down, he's not.<br/>He is happy in himself, he thinks.<br/>Sure, his childhood wasn't great, but he never turned to self destruction as a coping method.<br/>Instead, he just... Doesn't talk much.<br/>He was never very good with spoken words.<br/>So he tends to not use them.<br/>He writes beautifully, but he doesn't like words passing his lips. </p><p>----</p><p>aka the mute!Tyler au that NO ONE asked for :))))</p><p>*title credit to The Never Ending - Secondhand*</p><p>----</p><p>TW: slight depression, self harm, slight abuse(there's no graphic descriptions, it's just mentioned a few times)<br/>My tumblr is in the beginning notes, so if you ever need someone to talk to, shoot me a message :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Will you love me? (And my secondhand heart?)

**Author's Note:**

> I LOVE EVERYONE OKAY IF YOU EVER NEED HELP, I'M HERE FOR YOU  
> my tumblr is: ode-txsleep.tumblr.com  
> (my other social media is on my 'about me' page on there if you would prefer to contact me via twitter/facebook/insta etc)

It wasn't that Tyler was _unhappy_ , because really, deep down, he's not.  
He is happy in himself, he thinks.  
Sure, his childhood wasn't great, but he never turned to self destruction as a coping method.  
Instead, he just... Doesn't talk much.  
He was never very good with spoken words.  
So he tends to not use them.  
He writes beautifully, but he doesn't like words passing his lips.

\---

Tyler grew up in a very unstable home.   
His mother was always very sick, therefore his father looked after her and barely had time for him.  
But he was okay with looking after himself.  
Tyler likes being alone and independent.   
He wasn't happy, but he wasn't  _not happy,_ either.

\---

Tyler hasn't said much in his 17 years of life.  
He rarely speaks at all, actually.   
He says occasional things to his father, and talks to his mother when she's well enough.   
But she is always sick, and his father is either always at the hospital with her, or drunk.  
He doesn't talk at college.   
Doesn't feel the need to.   
His teachers don't mind.   
He's intelligent and gets amazing grades, that's all they could ask for.

Tyler talks to his boyfriend sometimes. Not often, but sometimes. 

He's been with Joshua since he was 16.  
Josh was 20 when they started dating. 

Some might find that weird, but Josh loves Tyler, and would do anything for him. 

Tyler loves everything about Josh.   
He thinks Josh is beautiful.  
He adores his eyes, his body, his hands, his hair, his voice. He especially loves his voice. 

Josh's voice calms Tyler down. He always says the right things. Always helps. 

Josh loves Tyler's voice, too.  
He might not get to hear it often, but he adores it.   
It makes him feel safe.

\---

Josh isn't as happy, or as strong, as he seems.   
He get's scared... Petrified.  
Anxiety and depression. That's what the doctor called it. 

He gets sad a lot.   
He doesn't tell Tyler when he's sad, but he thinks Tyler might know. 

But he doesn't know that Josh has panic attacks nearly everyday.  
He doesn't know just how  _terrified_ of life his boyfriend really is.

He knows that Josh's mind is a strange place.  
He's seen the pictures Josh draws and the music he writes.   
He watches as his boyfriend spills his mind onto paper and into his work. 

But he hasn't seen the darkest drawings.  
He hasn't heard the most distressing drum beats. 

They all stay hidden, much like Tyler's voice. 

 

* * *

 

Josh looks up when he hears a knock at his window.   
Tyler is standing outside his house sheepishly, hands stuffed into his pockets. 

Josh smiles, 'It's open!' He shouts and watches as Tyler nods and opens his front door. 

When Tyler walks into the lounge, Josh gets up and meets him half way, wrapping his arms around the youngers shoulders tightly as Tyler winds his arms around his boyfriends torso, 

'Hi baby.' Josh whispers, kissing Tyler's hair. 

He doesn't expect an answer as he guides Tyler over to the couch and sits him down, 'Coffee?' He asks, standing above Tyler and running a hand through the youngers hair, who nods softly, a soft smile on his face, 'Okay. I'll be back in a sec. Here, put what you want on.' The elder smiles, handing Tyler the TV remote. 

\---

'Here you go, love.' Josh smiles, handing Tyler a mug of coffee as he sits down next to his boyfriend, the younger nods in appreciation, taking a sip before putting it on the coffee table and leaning back, resting his head on Josh's shoulder.

Josh looks down and notices the sadness and fatigue in Tyler's eyes, so he leans forward, picking up the pen and notebook he always has on the coffee table and hands it to Tyler, 

'Tell me how your mum is.' The elder whispers and Tyler nods and begins to write.

 _Dad took her back to hospital last night._  
She couldn't breathe again.  
We were talking before it happened and she said that she knows she's going to die soon, and when she does, she doesn't want me to stay at home with my dad.  
He text me this morning. The cancers spreading quicker than before.   
She doesn't have long left. 

Of course Josh knows about Tyler's mum. He knows the doctors found a small tumor in her left lung when Tyler was 7, and there was no way of removing it. He knows she was diagnosed with lung cancer when Tyler was 12. It's incurable and only getting worse. She's been fighting for years, but all battles end. 

'Oh darling...' Josh sighs, tightening his arm around Tyler, watching as he starts writing again,

 _I know she's going to die._  
I'm okay with that, it means she won't be in pain anymore.  
_I'm just scared because of him._

'It'll be okay. You'll move in with me.' 

_Really?_

'Of course, Ty. I love you and you know I'd give you the world if I could. I was going to ask you to move in with me when you turned 18 anyway.' Josh explains, combing his fingers through Tyler's hair gently, 

_Thank you, Jish. I love you._

'I love you too, baby boy, always.' 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title cred: Allison Weiss - I'll be okay (I LOVE HER A LOT OKAY AND IF YOU HAVEN'T LISTENED TO HER GO DO THAT NOW SHES FANTASTIC)


End file.
